when thinking gets scary : Flipping our fears

Thinking never happens accidentally, it happens because you have vision, you have commitment and because you have some dream! May be a vague dream but you have one. Thinking – Sometimes chaos and sometimes peace but mostly a surge of emotions. when emotions are strong then it is a storm – hard to control or confine and focus your mind to make any choice; such storm blurs the distinction between real and imaginary. that sort of thinking makes you upset and closes all doors of hope. But reality remains that with just a little awareness and a flip, one can turn off the power source of such storm, which is also never easy. it gives appearance of a strong castle, hard to break in! but in reality mostly it is just a castle of card, waiting for a soothing blow of mindful wind. (which too often comes from some external source – may be a friend or a book or nature!)

but the question remains – How to control this storm? Or should we atall control it and wait for the external element? but that just doesnt make sense – waiting like that. because If we let it flow then sure it will engulf us, as it questions everything we believed in so far. So Should we be mere spectators and let it destroy what we believed so far? is there any way to use that energy of storm for our good-being? making that destructive destruction into a creative destruction!

Thinking is a creative process. Creation, when is for our good, when is about our strength makes us happy. But when its about our weakness our fears it becomes a creative force for our fears… thus making us weak and depended. How to seperate that good n evil creation and chose? There is a native american tale of two wolves which goes like,

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. “One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed”.
Thus its upto us what we create, whom we feed.

But the question remains, if the evil wolf is feeding on our thinking, how to stop it? Mostly them the good wolf is invisible! But its not. Things are little mystical and counter intuitive here. There are no two wolves but one; Its just our perspective. Imagine The evil wolf and make it upside down, and its the good wolf! All time there but you were not aware of it. Good and evil – we make these distinction for our comfort but in real there is just a wolf. Our perception makes it good or evil.
When you are sad look within and you will realise it is the same thing for which you were happy and when you are happy look within to see that you were sad earlier for the same thing. Our Mind is cunning, it likes to dwell in past and future but dont like to settle in present. But Its there to keep us alive and it tries to find meaning… all the times. Thinking is just its way of expression – a manifestation that the mind is alive! Thus for mind thinking is a process a routine and we need to look upto it like that such that we must not react but let the storm settle and learn to dance in the storm rather than sitting ashore and wait for storm to recede.
Since the thinking is an manifestation of mind’s existence, it becomes manifestation of your extension too. Because we relate ourselves with our mind – what we thing we become. Its our ego, alter ego – its us! when reality remains that we need to be the master of our mind, we are the creator of our thought – our thoughts are product of our thinking ability. this ability is us not its products i.e. various thoughts and idea. but then we perceive and understand and know the ideas only not the master i.e. our ability. so when those ideas go haywire, fear sets in as we doubt those ideas thinking that those ideas are ourselves, i.e. we are weak… exactly when the evil wolf starts feeding inside.
Then We try hard to stop it from feeding on the thinking process, and we put fence and try hard to fend off the evil wolf… and we start this by rejection! rather than accepting and evaluating what is going on our knee jerk reaction is to close all the door of suggestion! and then we forget n ignore the fact that with that evil wolf we also close doors n nutrition to the good wolf. We forget this fact they are the same side of a coin, instead of flipping the coin we throw the coin and as a result we get a vacuum inside us. This vacuum makes our mind more insecure and that insecurity sets in more wolves – just evil ones! which now not only fed on our thinking but also on what we are, it bites n tore our dreams, faith and hope. when the reality remains that every event in life almost has two sides. we mostly chose one and act on one but we never see both sides without relating them to ourselves, being neutral, not being an idea but being a wise judge! thus, What starts with that fencing for being protective for ourselves, ends up destroying what we intended to protect… that’s the thing about fear. A vice that we must never trust.
Thinking becomes destructive when we let fear settle in our heart and mind.  The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows. Purpose of fear is to make us aware and thats it. Once becoming aware of fear we need to focus on our imagination and thinking to know the facts and analyse the situation. Indeed the storm of thoughts will set in mind and some of them will also try or pretend to protect you. But you must realize that those protective thoughts  cripples you, being vulnerable makes you feel weak but indeed if you face this vulnerability with courage you will see a better side of yours – your own spiritual growth.

At the end our truth is, as ‘brene brow’n defines it in her book ‘gifts of imperfection’,
We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.
Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

Its love, for ourselves and for other that truly gives us strength. Its hard to love some one strange but indeed its our truth, love makes us strong.
So next time in ocean of life when the storm of thinking sets in and the tides of fear grow high and wind of uncertainty tries to topple your ship, just remember of the love that you have in your heart, love for yourself and for others – focus there. Let the strorm does it dance and eventually yoh will learn to just witness it without any reaction and then you will laugh how futile is its struggle, when all its attempt will fail to topple and unsettle u and when you will emerge out of thag strorm even more mindful and strong, you will discover your true strength – true you that you may have never seen… the good wolf! That feeling of victory and bliss is what puts a full stop to your thinking.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s