[previous: Emotions: The essence of being Human]
To Maintain balance between intellect and emotion is wisdom
-: shree shree ravi shankar
For years our intelligent society is build upon IQ that is thinking ability and logic taking emotions for granted. Our education system, selection procedure all is based on IQ. Since we left aside emotion in this 100 or more years of course and only concentrated on single aspect of human behavior i.e. intelligence things have came to an halt and as a result we are experiencing chaos in society. We have tried to pull only one aspect of human mind keeping the vital aspect stagnant. Where it is given that both emotion and intelligence are ‘the’ things which makes us human being: different form of species that all living beings.
he solution of this lies in self awareness, putting it exact words of Daniel Goleman we need to make the society ‘emotionally intelligent’.
This self awareness, putting in simple words stands like making one aware about his feelings. In case of bob of previous example, if he realize that his excitement is root of his nervousness and his chewing nails and shaking legs adds into his anxiety, he could have controlled his emotions and preventing himself from getting distracted from his aim.
The horizon of EQ is not just limited to the single person but on large scale it is related with understanding others feelings: to empathies. I strongly believe that the most of problems in today’s society are result of lack of empathy. The IQ based society has little place for empathy as it teaches and makes us dominating and ruthless. Our education system trains us so that we will get a job but it cannot assure whether the student will live for next day or not. The stressful life, depression followed by suicide among students and young professionals is alarming but still we are not really serious about emotional values. These are all consequences of numbness towards one`s own emotions and emotions of their loving peoples: parents, friends and relatives.
One more thing I would like to add here is, as a nature’s gift and in course of evolution the females have much more developed scene of empathy and this is a well accepted fact today. Sadly in society they are not given enough room to express these skills and the existing world just makes room to accommodate them in existing rigid workspace which was once created by some men as per their preferences. We need to give enough room to females to express and utilize their empathetic skills in their work style to get optimize their natural skills. Otherwise the existing work culture can perish the emotional aspect of women’s ‘motherly touch’. some consequences of that are visible today in the young generation. This is a vicious cycle of lack of empathy since the tender mind of child shapes itself in its earliest days when it is self conscious and if it is given touch of empathy during that time, the impact lasts long on the child’s mind. I am not saying that every women then should stay in home to protect their child, here I want to revive a forgotten role of educational institutes. (which existed in our culture ages back) these institutes need to wake up for this new role of teaching emotional intelligence to the young minds.
I think the real essence of human life lies in these emotions and feeling them, it’s a gift of nature to us human beings where we can be self conscious about our own feelings. And as we empathies them we understand how others are feeling. As we grew emotionally intelligent we can deal with the sad and unpleasant feelings at its root when it starts building thus achieving optimum performance and peace at conscious level which intern adds into our intelligence resulting in maximum pleasure at work.
putting together, as per Daniel Goleman The domain of emotional intelligence stands on following pillars,
- Knowing your emotions
- Managing your emotions
- Motivating yourself
- Recognizing and understanding other person`s emotion
- Managing relationships and others emotions.
*Daniel goleman has delt with each of these topic at length in his book emotional intelligence: why EQ matters more than IQ.
The field of emotional intelligence is still very young only 20-25 years old and still research is going on yet the results are strong enough to believe in its utility and correctness. As Indian we have very strong reason to believe in it. If any of reader is familiar or following any form of meditaion, vipashana then I don’t need to give explanation for this since all of them talks about self awareness. Now EQ is putting that in more comprehensive form and what I think is rather than fighting and wasting time in claiming the fame for EQ we should strive to imbibe those skills to make the society a better and sustainable place to live for next generations.
*dedicated to Mr. K. M Pathi n my parents who taught me emotional intelligence and related interpersonal skills.